Tag Archives: olympics

Things Overshadowed By The Olympics

The Olympics end next Sunday, and by now, we’ve all had enough Gymnastics, Water Polo, Archery, Swimming, and Darts to hold us over for the next four years. The only marquee events left are the Basketball and Soccer Finals, and the 100 meter mens race. The Summer Games have taken up all of NBC’s programming across five networks, and a considerable amount of SportsCenter time (it’s a shame that they can only devote 8 minutes to talking about Tim Tebow being a backup quarterback instead of the usual 12). Looking back on the past week and a half, I’ve realized that many things in my life have taken a back seat to watching 24 hours of Olympic coverage. Things like:

Showering. I’m home all day watching NBC, and see no reason to leave my house. Why bother to be groom and primp for people I’m not going to see? (Interesting side-note: I attended a panel discussion featuring ESPN executive John Walsh last semester. He said that NBC outbid other networks for the Olympic contract by billions. ESPN’s reason for not ponying up $4.38 billion for the rights? It’s a lot of money to devote for only two weeks of content. Makes sense.)

Baseball. I’m not a huge baseball guy like I used to be, but exactly zero fucks were given about the Trade Deadline (even though my Yankees hotly pursued a needed starting pitcher) or all of the VERY tight pennant races raging.

Work. I don’t have a summer job or internship. Instead, this website, it’s YouTube channel, and my other website have been my “jobs.” I’m self-employed and living off Google AdSense pennies. Content across the Justin Block family of networks has slowed recently, because the Olympics are the perfect procrastination tool. I think, “Oh I’ll write that article after this soccer match is over.” Then another match comes on. Then another event comes on. And another. And another. And because NBC tape delays all the good events, I watch their replays of the live streams from earlier because NBC’s tape delay coverage gives the event new life. With all of the added graphics and commentary, I was able to relive Phelps’s last race last night with the same Olympics-level joy. Before I knew it, it was midnight and no work had gotten done, thanks to 12 hours of Olympics watching. For people who work in an office all day at a computer, I’m sure NBC’s online streams of every event has killed productivity.

Diet. Because I don’t leave my house, I haven’t been able to make trips to the grocery store. I’m currently on my last bit of canned and frozen foods. Marie Callender, Abraham Stouffer, and Mr. Trader Joe have prevented starvation. Domino’s delivery deserves a shout-out as well.

NFL training camp. My Packers are apparently ready to start Charles Woodson at safety, and their first pre-season game is this Thursday. I learned all of this information three seconds ago after a quick Google search. Thanks to SportsCenter though, I’m an expert on Jets and Broncos training camps. Those two teams who have no training camp stories but ESPN is hell-bent on talking Tim Tebow starting into existence.

Fantasy Football. The NFL kicks off in a month and I don’t have my fantasy shit together. Aside from Arian Foster and Ray Rice I don’t know who else is a sure-thing at running back. Help!

Other television endeavors. I have yet to start Breaking Bad, and I need to catch-up on three missed years of The Office and House. I still, however, frequent Keeping Up With The Kardashians and The Newsroom. Clearly my television judgement has been impaired thanks to the 30th Olympiad. Oh, and I haven’t even begun to anticipate HBO’s Hard Knocks either.

Chelsea’s John Terry. Shortly after a court found him not-guilty of racial abuse, England’s Football Association has charged him with the same thing. He’ll likely be convicted by the FA, because their legal burden of the “balance of probabilities” is significantly less than the “beyond a reasonable doubt” of a court. England’s former captain, and the current captain of London’s biggest club and the reigning champions of Europe is about to be deemed a racist, but the entire court case and FA charge has been totally swept under the rug thanks to the London Olympics. Andy Carroll’s failed transfer from Liverpool to West Ham caused more of a stir than Terry’s racism.

Great Britain’s Xenophobia. Liverpool’s Luis Suarez, competing for Uruguay, was booed throughout the Olympics for reasons stemming from his own racism charge last season. British fans even booed during Uruguay’s national anthem. (Short run-down of why they were booing: In a match against Manchester United, Suarez called United defender Patrice Evra a “negrito.” In South America, “negrito” is actually a term of endearment. Patrice Evra himself said he didn’t think Suarez was racist. The FA and their “balance of probabilities” handed Suarez an eight match ban anyway, because even referring to another player’s skin is enough for a charge. In their next match, Suarez refused to shake Evra’s hand in the customary pre-game team handshake—a poor decision on Suarez’s part.) Meanwhile, John Terry continues to be cheered when he wears an England shirt and isn’t jeered across England when he plays for Chelsea. This is an Olympics story, but it got little attention because it was overshadowed by the larger Olympics at hand. It was a black-eye that wasn’t, but for myself and other sensible fans, this was the low-light of the Olympics.

Click to enlarge. Proof that England’s media has been less than fair about the whole situation.

Shark Week. Shark Week promo and reruns of past Shark Week shows have been nonexistent in my life. Shark Week actually starts the day the Olympics end, but who’s going to remember? This is a legitimate problem.

Rick Ross. His hotly anticipated 5th solo album was released last week, but I’ve only had time to take a few cursory listens. I have, however, taken the time to remove Rick Ross from “Sixteen” so it’s just Andre 3000’s verse. Thank you Garageband cut tools.

My Amazon seller account. I’ve been flipping old books and DVDs for a few dollars on the Amazon marketplace, but I haven’t kept up with my recent orders. I’m late shipping out seven different items. RIP to my Feedback Rating.

Bills. Actually, let me call the NYU Bursar Office now so I can figure out how to pay my $28,595 first semester bill. I should have Sallie-Mae conferenced in too. This USA-Turkey women’s Volleyball match is about to end anyway.

Follow Justin on Twitter @jblock49

What A Kanye West Olympics Opening Ceremony Would Look Like

After watching London’s Opening Ceremony, I immediately began wondering how Kanye West would do the whole thing. Ye has his hands in everything nowadays—art, fashion, music, sports, television, movies—so I wouldn’t put a Kanye directed Ceremony past anybody. Here’s how it would go down:

The negotiation process to get Kanye to direct the games would legendary. He’d demand a budget of at least $500 million for the concert. London Olympics organizers would remind him that it’s not a concert, that China spent $70 million on their Opening Ceremony, and that no, Austin Powers is a fictional character. After agreeing to direct the show for a lush sponsorship package (DONDA would be the official sponsor of the entire Olympics. Even though DONDA lacks a logo and any real products, it just would be.)

Working with a measly $15 million, Kanye would conceptualize, plan, organize, rehearse, and create the entire Ceremony in 3 days. After determining that $15 million isn’t enough, he doubles the ticket prices of the Ceremony, and contributes $30 million of his own money (most of which he wrangles from Def Jam) to offset the now $50 million budget.

London organizers repeatedly ask for outlines of the show, but Kanye points out his “Kanye Kontrol Klause” (short-sightedly abbreviated as “KKK”). The KKK allows Kanye to work in total secrecy. He makes no promises to pay homage to the United Kingdom, the games themselves, or the international community watching. He declares that “I’m universal” when pressed on the matter.

The show starts in total darkness. Everyone in the audience, including international broadcasters, would be asked to remain totally silent. (Matt Lauer would ignore these directions.) A singular light shines upon one man standing on a massive, white circular stage. He’s a Black man wearing a Horus mask dripping in gold. Faux Horus is also wearing the $100,000 Horus chain that Kanye wore in 2010 to perpetuate his greatness. Horus begins to fly, and as the audience tracks him into the dark of the London night, the white circle stage disappears. An all-black pyramid emerges from the ground, flanked by a 7-screen movie setup. This instantly causes a problem, because half of the stadium cannot see what’s happening on the screen. The trailer for Cruel Summer plays, and the screens explode. Beneath the pyramid, a clear-glass bottom surface has emerged.

It quickly becomes clear that the glass surface is actually a giant in-ground aquarium. Great white sharks swim throughout, eating the carcases of dead male Lions. The moment first blood is drawn, aggressive “Love Lockdown”-like drums pound away. Hundreds of ballerinas dressed like 1850s-era African-American slave women emerge from the pyramid as the drums continue to roll. They begin some stupid routine. A man representing Nat Turner breaks the glass aquarium, climbs to the stage, and shoots a make-believe Ronald Reagan character in the head.

(At this point, everyone—Black, White, Asian, Purple, English, Young Money—is offended.)

The ballerinas all suddenly swoop towards the middle of the stage. They huddle up, chant some wild nonsense, and when they break, Kanye appears dead-center. He’s wearing nothing but a Givenchy loin-cloth, with the letters “KW” embroidered on his crotch, and “DONDA” on his ass cheeks. He begins pounding away on an MPC, using samples from the Inception soundtrack.

Giant floats of great African-Americans cruise around the stage. The heads of Nat Turner, Dred Scott, Booker T. Washington, Frederick Douglass, Malcolm X, MLK, Carter Woodson, Muhammed Ali, Jackie Robinson, Fred Hampton, Ray Charles, Marvin Gaye, Basquiat, Michael Jordan, Steve Urkel, Michael Jackson, Will Smith, Oprah, Obama, and Black Jesus parade around. All hope of the Ceremony having anything to do with the UK, the Olympics, or the world is now lost.

Jay-Z, dressed in a suit, rides onto the stage on the back of Tinie Tempah (who’s crawling on the ground). Kanye and Jay perform that song about African Americans In Paris. After performing the song 30 times (finally, the Olympics are referenced. This is the 30th Olympiad after all), the Queen joins them on stage. All three pop bottles of champagne, spraying the bubbly on Prince Harry, the Olsen Twins, and Sir Paul McCartney. “Twist and Shout” by the Beatles plays, and everyone on stage (including the Queen) is suddenly wearing a leopard print vest. Horribly awkward dancing ensues. Kanye smashes his bottle on Mr. Hudson’s head, and screams “I AM KANYE WEST, AND I AM NOT MAKING HISTORY. I AM HISTORY,” before the whole stage goes dark.

The Ye-lmypics have now begun.
Follow Justin on Twitter @jblock49

Sports Media Today and Their Shame

“It’d be a tough one, but I think we’d pull it out.”—Kobe Bryant on whether the 2012 Men’s team could beat the 1992 Dream Team

“They have (Patrick) Ewing and (David) Robinson and those big guys. It’s tough. If you’re asking me, ‘Can you beat them one game?’ Hell yeah, we can beat them one game.”—Kobe when asked if he stood by his first comments.

“If we got the opportunity to play them [the Dream Team] in a game we feel like we would win too.”—LeBron James commenting on Kobe’s comments.

“I absolutely laughed.”—Michael Jordan on everything.

Two weeks ago, I laid out the facts, the matchups, and the strategies behind a hypothetical Dream Team vs. 2012 Team game. In my arena, the Dream Team would whoop the 2012 Team. For any basketball observer, it’s a given: Not only is the Dream Team better than the 2012 Team, but the 2012 Team isn’t even as good as the 2008 team, which narrowly beat Spain in the Gold Medal game. Nobody was talking Dream Team vs. Redeem Team back then.

Kobe’s first quote about beating the Dream Team is over two weeks old. LeBron’s newest quote, reaffirming his belief that his squad would win, is from today. The entire Dream Team vs. 2012 Team is an example of shameless story manufacturing on the part of the sports media at large. An old story was recycled just for the sake of press. It’s no better than the English tabloids drumming up football transfer rumors and lies, and running the same stories every few months just to sell a headline.

Turn on any talkshow on ESPN today, or any hour of SportsCenter, and LeBron’s quote will be covered, dissected, and dismissed just as Kobe’s was. What won’t make the broadcast though, is LeBron’s follow-up quote:

“As a competitor you never want to say that you will lose no matter who you are going against.”

LeBron pointed out exactly why his quote, Kobe’s quotes, and the entire story is total rubbish. What else is LeBron James, the best basketball player on the planet, supposed to say? Anything less than “We’d win,” and images of pre-championship LeBron would be brought back to life. He has no confidence. He lacks Kobe or Jordan’s killer mentality. LeBron was put in a lose-lose situation by reporters just for the sake of a story.

And what was Kobe going to say? He’s the most pathological competitor in basketball today—only Jordan has ever topped Kobe’s mean-streak. Kobe genuinely believes that he could beat anyone in anything. It’s just the way he’s wired. In both Kobe and LeBron’s case, they were set up to deliver controversial quotes before they even answered. There’s a reason why Kevin Love or James Harden weren’t asked these ridiculous questions. 1) Both Love and Harden know that they’d get whooped by Barkley and Drexler, 2) They’re more likely to give more tame answers, just because of who they are, and 3) Nobody gives a fuck about what Kevin Love or James Harden thinks, except for their mothers. These writers went after the 2012 Team’s two top-dogs, and targeted them for sensationalist dialogue, because there’s no big story this Olympics. In 2008, it was all about the “Redeem Team,” and the players rededicating themselves to the USA Basketball cause after 2004’s horror show in Athens. This year, the team is just good, and there’s apparently nothing interesting about just being good. That’s just lazy reporting.

This dives into a much larger problem in sports media. Last month, Mark Cuban Ethered Skip Bayless for the lack of real analysis and the preponderance of storyline fabrication.

It’s no surprise that Cuban went after Bayless, while Stephen A. Smith—another loud-mouth who uses his Southern preacher-like overtures and tones to make points (an example of the classic “Whoever is loudest wins the debate” problem)—stood silent. Smith didn’t want it with Cuban, because he knew that Cuban was right. Bayless and Smith are exactly the talking heads that reporters feed when they ask Kobe or LeBron about the Dream Team. Their spew fills minutes on the air-waves, puts inches in columns, and brings in traffic to ESPN’s army of websites and networks. No wonder coaches and players never say anything of real meaning in interviews—the media doesn’t care if they outline double-teams or shooting percentages—they want the MediaTakeOut quote. It creates a level of distrust that only hurts the conversation.

Let’s see some x’s and o’s drawn up about how the Gasol brothers might take the 2012 Team’s weak interior to the brink of defeat. Let’s point out that LeBron’s ability to play power forward has the team playing small-ball, allowing Kevin Durant and Carmelo Anthony to run free. Let’s put real sports analysis ahead of talk, and authentic stories ahead of shameless story manufacturing. Let’s be the anti-Bayless.

Follow Justin on Twitter @jblock49

1992 Dream Team Vs. 2012 USA Men’s Team: The Breakdown

“So I don’t know. It’d be a tough one, but I think we’d pull it out.”—Kobe Bryant on whether the 2012 Men’s team could beat the 1992 Dream Team

“I absolutely laughed.”—Michael Jordan on Kobe’s quote.

In any sport, it’s difficult to compare guys from different eras. Athletes today are healthier, more athletic, and smarter than they were twenty years ago. NBA rules have changed to make the game more open, allowing point guards to flourish. The league has gotten softer as players have become more physically gifted—the guys on the 1992 Dream Team were probably disgusted by how the playoffs were called this year. But if a hypothetical game between the Dream Team and the sequel to 2008’s “Redeem Team” happened, would the 2012 squad have a chance? Before we get into match-ups, here’s what we know:

The two greatest players of their generation are at the apex of their powers. At age 28 in 1992, Michael Jordan came off a 30-6-6 year, embarrassed Clyde Drexler in the 1992 Finals after a “Who’s Better: Jordan or Drexler?” debate was started during the playoffs, and promptly seized Finals MVP (the famous Shrug Game being the highlight). At age 27, LeBron James is coming off an MVP 27-6-8 campaign and a Finals MVP, settling a premature and unfair “Who’s Better: Durant or LeBron?” debate. Jordan at his peak versus LeBron at his peak? And if Gus Johnson is calling the game… Instant cumshot for every basketball fan.

Every player on the Dream Team is an NBA Hall of Famer except for Christian Laettner. If Isiah Thomas wasn’t hated so universally in 1992, he would’ve made it over Laettner (Chuck Daly, the Dream Team’s coach, and Thomas’s coach on the Pistons didn’t even pick him), giving the Dream Team 12 Hall of Famers in 12 roster spots. Alas, they’re 11 for 12 (unless Laettner’s College Basketball Hall of Fame spot counts. He’s enshrined in the same building as Jordan, since the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield covers all areas of basketball). It’s hard to project who will be a Hall of Famer on the 2012 team, but surely the likes of Andre Iguodala won’t make it to Springfield. For historical purposes, the Dream Team reigns supreme.

The 2012 team lacks size. Tyson Chandler is the lone 7-footer on that roster, and offers nothing offensively. The Dream Team had 7-footers Patrick Ewing and David Robinson. Dwight Howard is missed just for his size and post strength alone. Chandler can’t play the entire game though, leaving the likes of Kevin Love, LeBron, and Anthony Davis to protect the post against Ewing, Robinson, Charles Barkley, and Karl Malone.

The Dream Team is slow at point guard. Magic Johnson didn’t play in the NBA in 1992, but he proved in the Olympics that he was still the best point guard in basketball. At age 31, however, he was a huge liability defensively. His backup, John Stockton, was no burner either. Meanwhile, the 2012 team has the most explosive point guard available in Russell Westbrook, and Magic’s heir, Chris Paul.

The 2012 team is injured. Dwight Howard, Derrick Rose, Dwayne Wade, and Blake Griffin are all out with injuries for Team USA. Howard’s size, Rose’s speed, Wade’s scoring, and Griffin’s power are all huge misses for the 2012 team. These guys would’ve made a real difference. Howard and Griffin would help patch a weak spot inside for the 2012 team, Rose could further exploit Magic and Stockton, and Wade is a huge upgrade at shooting guard over Kobe’s current backups.

Now that those facts have been hashed out, who wins the individual matchups at each position?

Magic in his prime was better than Chris Paul is now, but in 1992, Magic was at the end of his career. A Paul/Westbrook/Deron Williams combination would tear up Magic and Stockton (who got regularly got beat by the speedy Gary Payton throughout his career), beating them with pure speed and stealing ability. 2012 Team wins.

Here, the two biggest alpha-dogs of their time would be paired up against each other. Nobody in basketball was more competitive than Jordan, although Kobe would definitely have something to say about that. Jordan and Kobe would kill each other out there. Although Jordan in his prime blows an aging Kobe away physically, Kobe wouldn’t make it easy—he’s too much of a competitive killer. Drexler wasn’t the same player after Jordan took his soul in the 1992 Finals (seriously, Drexler went from being a top 5 player to barely an All-Star after that), but he’s still superior to James Harden and Westbrook at the 2. Drexler was in his prime in 1992, while Harden, Gordon and Westbrook are still figuring themselves out. Dream Team wins.

Larry Bird, Chris Mullin, and Scottie Pippen (and maybe Barkley?) against LeBron, Kevin Durant, and Carmelo Anthony. While LeBron will play any position 1-5 and would probably guard Jordan, Durant and Anthony could hold their own. Larry Bird was still a maverick with the ball even when he retired, but his back was shot by this point. The uber-athletic speed, strength, and length of Durant and Anthony would cause too much trouble for Bird, Mullin, and Pippen to handle. Have LeBron actually play the 3, and this matchup is no contest. 2012 Team wins.

Barkley in his prime was better than any forward not named LeBron that the 2012 team could offer against him. He’d make Love question his own abilities, as Love is hardly an apt defender. Barkley would remind Davis of his rookie status over and over again, as an undersized but thick Barkley would plow through Davis. Malone coming off of a world-beating 28-11 season only makes things worse for the 2012 team. Davis is the only one who could potentially defend Barkley and Malone—2015 Anthony Davis that is—not rookie Anthony Davis. Dream Team wins.

A Pity Party is needed for Tyson Chandler here. He’s going to have to do the bulk of the interior defending with Davis against Ewing and Robinson in their primes. Chandler is the best defensive center in basketball today, but he couldn’t hold on against Robinson and Ewing rotating in and out. Too many big, fresh bodies for the Dream Team, and not nearly enough offense or size inside for the 2012 team. Dream Team wins.

The Dream Team wins 3-2 in the matchup battle. These are teams that will come bringing different styles of basketball though, and matchups aren’t everything. The Dream Team would have more emphasis on attacking the weak interior of the 2012 Team with their bigs, while having Jordan and Magic do everything they can on fast breaks. The 2012 team is going to try and win on speed and athleticism down the wings and in transition, with Chris Paul and LeBron in a power-point guard role spearheading attacks to Westbrook, Durant, and Davis down the court. If I’m Coach K, I go with a Paul, Kobe, Westbrook, Durant, LeBron, Chandler starting five, but eventually settling in with a Paul, Westbrook, Durant, LeBron, Davis lineup to make the game a track meet. It’s their only shot against the size of the Dream Team.

Who wins? The Dream Team. Never bet against Jordan. No way he lets this game get away.

Follow Justin on Twitter @jblock49